The Funniest, Saddest and Scariest Mangled Statements by President George W. Bush

The Funniest, Saddest and Scariest Mangled Statements

by President George W. Bush

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Funniest Blunders by George W. Bush

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we.

They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people,

and neither do we." —Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004 

"That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed

fundamental—supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and

ammunition and fuel." --George W. Bush, Erie, Pa., Sept. 4, 2004 

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings.

And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're

going to do something about it." —Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001 

"There's an old...saying in Tennessee...I know it's in Texas, probably in

Tennessee that says Fool me once...(3 second pause)... Shame on...

(4 second pause)...Shame on you....(6 second pause)...Fool me...Can't

get fooled again." --George W. Bush to Nashville, Tennessee audience,

Sept. 17, 2002, MSNBC-TV --Politex, Sept. 17, 2002, 10 PM 

"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst

leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends

and allies with the world's worst weapons." --George W. Bush, South Bend, Indiana,

Sept. 5, 2002.

"As you know, these are open forums, you're able to come and

listen to what I have to say." --George W. Bush, 10.28.03.

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the -- the vast

majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these

people and we will bring them to justice." --Washington, D.C.,

Oct. 27, 2003 "" --George W. Bush, 10.27.03.

"I know something about being a government. And you've got a good one."

 --George W. Bush, campaigning for Gov. Mike Huckabee, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 4, 2002 

"We look forward to analyzing and working with legislation that

will make--it would hope--put a free press's mind at ease that you're not

being denied information you shouldn't see." --G.W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 14, 2005

"I want to thank you for the importance that you've shown

for education and literacy." --G.W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April 13, 2005 

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many

OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across

this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004 

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a

nation that suffers from incredible disease." —Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001 

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a

literacy test.'' —Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001 

"We both use Colgate toothpaste." —after a reporter asked what

he had in common with British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Camp David, Md., Feb. 23, 2001 

"Tribal sovereignty means that; it's sovereign. I mean, you're a —

you've been given sovereignty, and you're viewed as a sovereign entity. And

therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes

is one between sovereign entities."
—Washington, D.C., Aug. 6, 2004 

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for

what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are

probably read the news themselves." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003 

"I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to

explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president." —

as quoted in Bob Woodward's Bush at War

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday,

ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport." —

Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001 

“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the

nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness

to terrorize himself." —Grand Rapids, Mich., Jan. 29, 2003 

"I saw a poll that said the right track/wrong track in Iraq 

was better than here in America. It's pretty darn strong. I mean, the

people see a better future." —Washington, D.C., Sept. 23, 2004 

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." —

Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002 

"After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain,

we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week — we will

have an all-volunteer army!" —Daytona Beach, Fla., Oct. 16, 2004 

"Do you have blacks, too?" —to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso,

Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001

"Now, we talked to Joan Hanover. She and her husband, George, were

visiting with us. They are near retirement—retiring—in the process of retiring,

meaning they're very smart, active, capable people who are retirement

age and are retiring." —Alexandria, Va., Feb. 12, 2003.

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating." —as quoted by the New York

Daily News, April 23, 2002 

"I wish you'd have given me this written question ahead of time

so I could plan for it…I'm sure something will pop into my head here

in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of trying

to come up with answer, but it hadn't yet….I don't want to sound like

I have made no mistakes. I'm confident I have. I just haven't — you

just put me under the spot here, and maybe I'm not as quick on my

feet as I should be in coming up with one." —President George W. Bush,

after being asked to name the biggest mistake he had made, Washington, D.C.,

April 3, 2004

"The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway." —

explaining why high taxes on the rich are a failed strategy, Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004

"...that's just the nature of democracy. Sometimes pure politics enters into the rhetoric."
-George W. Bush, Crawford, Tx., August 8, 2003 

"Security is the essential roadblock to achieving 
the road map to peace."
-George W. Bush, July 25, 2003 

..."It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left

here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and t

heir belief in freedom, helped change America."— George W. Bush, Dakar,

Senegal, July 8, 2003 

"My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that

economists worry that we're going to run out of debt to retire." —

radio address, Feb. 24, 2001 

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack

each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction." 
—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003 

"But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me." —

summing up his first year in office, three months after the 9/11 attacks,
Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001 

"I try to go for longer runs, but it's tough around 
here at the White House on the outdoor track. It's 
sad that I can't run longer. It's one of the saddest things about the presidency." 
—interview with "Runners World," Aug. 2002

"Can we win? I don't think you can win it." —after being asked whether

the war on terror was winnable, "Today" show interview, Aug. 30, 2004 

 "I just want you to know that, when we talk about war,

we're really talking about peace." —Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002

"Perhaps the biggest problem is that we have passed children from

grade to grade, year after year, and those -- child hadn't learned

the basics of reading and math." —Washington, D.C., Jan. 8, 2003 

"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end." -

—Washington, D.C., Jan. 8, 2003 

"I think the American people—I hope the American—I don't think,

let me—I hope the American people trust me." -—Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002 

"I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job." —

to a group of Amish he met with privately, July 9, 2004

"I don't bring God into my life to—to, you know, kind of be a

political person." --Interview with Tom Brokaw aboard Air Force One, April 24, 2003

The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of

collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of

mass production." --George W. Bush, White House, Nov. 27, 2002